Time is what we want most, but what we use worst (Is all about Time)

... For the time that I'm missing

What do you feel when facebook creating a video about your past years. all those moment, picture, status in those years flashing in front of you in just a few minutes (?)

Time always bring me to the past. I'm a type of a person that like memorizing the past. I like to re-create, re-feeling, replay some moment of my past timeline. I try to get the feeling when that moment is happen. What song? what Smell? whose smell?

Me, melancholic timed person.

2015. 33 yrs old

Ken, my first son was born. That a beautifull moment. And I grab it all. not missing a second of it. from the first time he arrive, until he see the world for the very first time. what a moment. amazing moment.

That give me something on my mind. flash back. how I spent my life before. that 34 years?! ken was just starting the 0 years of him. He is going to have a long journey. then I reflect it to my timeline.
ken is going to have his first bad dreams. his first of lost. his first of fear. his first of hope. his first of love. And I do not want Ken face it alone. and I hope I can make a patchwork for a hole in Ken timeline. like my timeline that a lot of a hole in it.

2015. 34 yrs old.

My dad Passed away. I know I never close to my dad. I can't get along with him. I even hate him. On my mind, he was an egocentric, stubborn kind a person. that how I feel about Him.
In the past few days before He passed away. I don't want to go far from Him. I do not know why, I wan to stay at hospital. stay whatever He needed me. Until the last second He take His breath. Thank God I'm always beside Him. And take Him to the grave.
And in that moment. I realize that I love Him so much. I crying a lot. I missing Him. All the feeling, all the hate, is gone. I can't explain it why. It just happen and I feel it.

I know as a son I was let Him down. I never do something make Him proud. I feel bad about it. I waste all my time and never give my time for Him. Until last minutes of His life. Thank God. I still have the moment. capture it. even it's sad. I still going to rewind it, re feel it again.

Old Time, that greatest and longest established spinner of all!.... his factory is a secret place, his work is noiseless, and his hands are mutes. ~Charles Dickens