Par-Insome 01:21am

Past couple nite, I couldn’t sleep. I try to, but I still can’t. And some sort of loneliness feelings come trough that nights. It feels like shit. No one to talk to, and there nothing you can do to make it better. This two day past, feel so horrible, feel so away from you. Feel that I’m yearning for you so much. I’m waiting night to come, hope in some talk head off –till day star. At least till got tired. Just some –painkiller.

Well two moments past away, and ached for you still make me couldn’t sleep well this night. You always got this some sort of moment when you got separated away from your significant others. Hate that. Hate that much.

Yesterday I do nothing, just somersaulting in bed but this night I write-down this. Hopping this feeling lost in the morning. Just one called from you in the morning, one called that might make me feel better trough the rest of the day.

What should you do when some insom strikes you? I’m olden had an insom. I used to do some sort of things when this happened. Like re-arranged my books. Re-read some old newspapers. Or just sit down in the roof smoking (the old day, when I was used to) looking at stars at night. Or find someone to fiddle faddle till morning. But that’s the old days when I was still live boarded with. But tonight? Well I have already arranged my books, moreover my books not that much as before. Go to the roof? Can do that no more. Not in this house. Find someone? Hmm there’s no one here, which make feel right to chat with. Well, when this happen I’m just blurting “damned I missed smoking” :)

*end 02:35 -the night that I missed much my ‘significant others’ still couldn’t close my eyes & sleep

“would it be nice to hold you, would it be nice to take you home, would it be nice to kiss you…” -nidji

Par-Insome (continuation) -05:32am

I’ll cry instead (The Beatles)

I can’t close my eyes till morning and the called didn’t show up. So I make a called and isn’t such a –painkiller. It some a bitterpill. I just have to learn how to deal with my serve need, how to deal with it alone. Try to get one of the –painkillers my self, even thought I’m hang on with eyelids. What You Need Is Not Always What You Get. Some ego had to go. You’re alone, face it and hang on your own shit.

Well I’m tired, lack of sleep. My eyes blurred. And hopping I get trough the day and pray God put smile on my face. I’m sleeping with MJ singing you’re not alone.mp3. :p

nb. no, i still wake up